Dad is comfortable. He's not in danger and that's saying a lot as he fell several times before we followed the directions of the dr.s and admitted him to the home so he'd have 24 hr. care. He had given himself a couple of black eyes and lots of bruises from those falls and and we were all struggling about what to do. He called Chip and Jessica in the middle of the night many times and our concern grew immensely the night he wandered off, fell and a lady called 911. He did not know where he was. At that point he was admitted to the hospital and was throwing things at the nurses and very angry and very confused. He went to Abilene for a couple of weeks where they worked on his meds and recommended a nursing home.
He does ask when he's going home but not as often. It's very hard and an adjustment for all of us. He sleeps 99% of the day away. The nurses have problems getting him to get up. When Chip and I go to visit we try to get him up and take him for a ride, to visit Mom, or even just to sit in the shade at the Lodge.
He's pleasant but tires very easily and is very feeble. He barely is able to walk to the bathroom and back and getting him in the wheel chair is a shakey experience and into and out of the car is hard on him. When we do get him up and out he is ready to go back to bed almost as quickly as you arrive at your destination.
He hasn't smoked in years but the nurse told asked me yesterday if he did smoke. Somehow, somewhere he'd gotten a cigarette. I told her wasn't a big deal if he wanted a cigarette as long as someone was watching that he didn't burn himself or bring harm to someone. I was just glad to hear he'd gotten up and was outside with people. They have recently diagnosed him with diabetis and are currently treating him for that. He has blood in his stool and the dr. said it was up to us whether to have a colonoscopy to search for the reason. He's bled from his rectum for years and we believe it to be hemroids. There's a lot of risk in perforating a bowl or that his body wouldn't be strong enough to go through the procedure. If the procedure would show any cancer or problems we don't believe Dad would be strong enough to take chemo or radiation. They put him on iron which caused him to have diahrea and while it was keeping his blood count higher he was hospitalized because they were concerned of dehydration. The is was during the reunion. I had thought I'd take him for a day but the nurse practitioner said she didn't recommend him being taken out of town. They did take him off the iron. Three hours would be an eternity for dad driving in a car.
I read to him and he likes for his family to be there but usually sleeps through your visit if you stay long. He won't watch TV...even Westerns. He has no interest in anything but does eat well. Yesterday he said Buddy came to visit him and I said...you mean Chip? He said yes but a few minutes later he said Bud had just left. He's talked about going to see his Mama and I take it to be my mom and quiz him and he'll say yes but then will talk about seeing Mama and how she brought him into the world.
He's very sweet and it doesn't hurt anything but it brings us to the reality that's his memory is failing him.
We know everyone doesn't want him to be there and believe me, we don't want him there either but our denial had to stop...He can't take care of himself and we can't be there to take care of him 24 hrs. a day either. I feel pain for him when I'm not there, when I am there and when I knew he was home alone. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I'm thankful God made a place for him at Valley Fair Lodge. The nurses and staff are kind and considerate and they are very clean and the only time I've smelled anything was when it was a current issue...not from uncleanlieness.
I wish that Mom would go up there. She's so determined not to but at least she'd be able to see Dad more. That's a whole nother issue. She's in poor physical health and sleeps all the time, too. Both of them just want everyone to leave them alone so they can sleep. We know it's not good for them but what do you do? They're still have vey strong wills.
I try to stay on top of things.
God bless you,
Karen
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